My Motivation

13 Responses

  1. maria5125 says:

    I know the feeling, I join a group for divorced women but I had to stop going. They only kept re-living the divorce details over and over again, and I’m at a point right now where I don’t need that anymore. For a while I got what I needed out of that, knowing that I’m not alone but now I’m trying to move forward and rehashing it is not helpful.

    PS. You will have to get rich enough to have a hairdresser do your hair every morning, then it’ll look like that 🙂

    • stilllearning2b says:

      I’m afraid my indulgence would be a massage therapist 🙂 Good thing the good hair was captured on film!

  2. I had a “run away husband” experience and have worked very hard to move on. I co facilitated a group for women called “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.. Post divorce”– the goal of the group was to help each other stay focussed on moving forward and with a sense of humor. We didn’t let each other repeat the story….we shared all the forward steps and unexpected smiles we had during the meetings. A few tears were allowed.

    I am also finishing writing a book on my experience– again aimed at the positive– I had an international experience and faced obstacles that are uncommon for most women. However, I have found myself laughing more, smiling more, growing more and rediscovering more!

    • stilllearning2b says:

      Sounds like a great group and I love the title! Good luck on the book and make sure to let me know when it’s available.

  3. cathmae says:

    Is there such a thing as a “typical” divorce?
    My husband and I, after 30 years together and having spent 2 years trying to heal the relationship, decided to end it. So I guess we’re having the “amicable” break-up referred to in the literature. And yet I, too, feel like everything that has happened somehow doesn’t fit my perception of how others experience the end of a long marriage. It seems most divorced people I know (my parents and parents-in-law included) cheated on each other, beat each other up, or hate each other. I look around for role models and can’t find many. When my EX and I shop together or help each other, sometimes I wonder if we’re doing it wrong.
    The feelings of isolation and darkness and looking for an unseen path out – my experience was very different from yours and yet that’s how it felt to still be living in “our house” with my husband while we waited for it to be sold. I felt like I was in a tunnel with no air, trying to dig my way out and finding every step I took was harder than the last. I’m out now, and breathing freely for what feels like the first time ever.
    Glad I found your blog!

    • stilllearning2b says:

      Thank you for sharing your perspective. It’s true they all unique and I have a feeling many of us have a “grass is greener” view (at least I know I do). It’s so true, however, that even when many things are in your favor, divorce is hard. Very hard. Welcome to the site and I’m so glad to hear you’re breathing again! 🙂

  4. Lisa Thomson says:

    Congratulations on finishing your book! I’m sure it will help so many people out there who are going through a similar experience. It’s unfortunate you had to go through this. I remember the loneliness during divorce although mine was very different circumstances.

    • stilllearning2b says:

      Thanks! There are many experiences in divorce that I think we all relate to, regardless of our personal story. Loneliness is certainly one of them.

  5. This is a large part of why I’ve yet to finish my book as well. I found that the narrrative was still being developed experiences important to the story. It’s the ending, the seeing how the story ends, where is the good in this that seems to be the hardest part. And it’s difficult to write what you can’t yet see.

    • So true. It was strange how I was compelled to write at the beginning and again the last several months, yet for years I had nothing to say. It was also interesting to see how the ending evolved. I honestly didn’t know how the book was going to end until I was down to the last few weeks of writing. It really is an organic process and one that we just have to let evolve. Good luck with yours!

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