Dream
Therapy in the Writing Process
Journaling has long been accepted as a useful tool in the therapeutic process. Traditional journaling can certainly provide benefits. It is a “safe” space to explore powerful feelings. It encourages reflection and honesty and can lead the writer to a better understanding of him or herself. I believe that journaling can be even more beneficial, specifically after a traumatic event, when it is expanded to cover the entire writing process. Each step in the process helps to promote healing in a different way and the completion of all of the steps will help the writer to move forward from the trauma.
Pre-write: This is the time to purge all of the negative emotions. Do not censor yourself. Do not worry about sentence structure or grammar; simply let the words flow. This stage is wonderful for helping to cleanse the mind of all of the poisonous emotions that can damage self or others if bottled up or inappropriately expressed. Stay at this stage until the anger has lessened to the point where rationality has returned. Feel free to return to this stage as needed.
Rough Draft: After you have purged your mind of the initial anger and hurt, it is time to start making sense of your trauma. Craft your preliminary version, focusing on organizing your thoughts and ideas.This is the time to begin to make sense of your story. Examine cause and effect. Consider different perspectives. Blend the raw emotion from your pre-writing with rational thought born from time and distance.
Edit: Read your draft. Edit for spelling and grammar. Revise your sentences and paragraphs until they are succinct and powerful. Read your draft again. The editing process allows you to find distance from your story. Each time you read it, especially as your focus is on the mechanics rather than the content, you will find that you become slightly more removed from the pain.
Publish: Don’t worry, you don’t have to have an agent for this or even research self-publishing. Rather, share your story with at least one other person. By sharing your writing, you are showing that you own your story. It is yours to tell as you wish. This helps to take you out of a victim mode and casts you as the author of your life.
Pick up the pen and write the rest of your story.
Soul to the Sky
Have You Taken Out Your Mental Garbage Lately?
Push “Pause” or “Play”?
I woke up yesterday with a pulled hip flexor. It’s nothing serious. It’s completely functional and the pain can be ignored. But should I ignore it and push “play,” or give in to a pause?
My nature is to keep going, using ice and other modalities to ease the pain enough to continue on my planned runs, my marathon training schedule etched in concrete in my mind. Will this serve me in the long run? Or, by pushing too hard and too fast, will I prevent the necessary healing and end up off the trails longer than if I simply give in now?
Over the last three years, I have begun to be more comfortable pushing “pause.” For months after the divorce, I kept going through the pain, ignoring it while pressing forward. That only works for so long. I learned to be more sensitive to the nature of the pain and realize when I needed to give it time and space to present itself and heal and when I could ignore a small uprising and continue as if all was well because it soon would be.
Both buttons have their place in our lives. There are times when we need to keep going and push through the cobwebs blocking our path and there are other times when we need to stop and rest and allow ourselves to mend. Listen to your body. Your heart. It will tell you what it needs.
As for me, I plan to let my hip rest for one more day. There is time enough for play tomorrow. Pushing “pause” is not the same as pushing”stop.”
Lessons From the End of a Marriage 