It has been tough reading some of the responses on the Huffington Post piece. Many people are supportive, lots have questions, and others seem resolved to point fingers and assign blame. I knew that this would be a result of choosing to make my story public; I chose to share intimate details of my life and divorce knowing the mudslinging would come. What disheartens me is that others in similar situations face the same vitriol even though they choose to keep their stories out of the public eye.
Divorce is devastating to anyone who crosses its path. It is equally damaging to men as to women. It is agonizing to the divorcer and the divorcee. It is hard without children and even harder with them. It is a torturous loss of what was and what could be. None of us is immune to its touch, regardless of the stories we like to believe. It may never happen to you (and I hope that you are able to escape its singular pain), but it may touch a parent, a child, a sibling, a friend. At some time, in some way, one that you love and care for will be facing the devastation of divorce. It is so tempting to reduce the end of a relationship to simplistic terms, but that is never an accurate portrayal. People are complicated and multi-layered and relationships even more so. The only way that any of us can learn from tragedy is from approaching everything with an open mind and open heart. Listen to each other. You just might learn something.