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Marriage: I Do or I Don’t?

9 Responses

  1. rascalfoxx says:

    You are an amazing writer. Your writing clarifies my thoughts, which is a pretty good trick all by itself!

    Thank you. I wish everyone could read what your write. 😀

  2. katieswanberg says:

    I too learned the hard way that marriage doesn’t equal security, and my divorce made me question why I would need or want to get married again. I am not religious, have always been fairly ambivalent about being married, and I too am cohabitating with someone who I love dearly (and is the love of my life). But I have no desire to have the state tell me we are tied together, for just the idea makes me bristle these days.

    I read this post after my divorce and still hold it as my credo to this day. http://www.blogher.com/i-don-t-want-get-married-been-there-done-got-t-shirt-and-kid But thankfully, I didn’t get the kid as a parting gift, and for that I am thankful (for myself and the never born child).

    • Wait, did you get the t-shirt? 🙂

    • Chiie says:

      Relationships have become an exotnsien of some sort of marriage. Many people often say why would I ruin a perfectly good thing? To regain intimacy in a relationship, you need to do the same thing as you do for a marriage, communicate. You need to express the feelings that you have in a nonthreatening manner. I say nonthreatening because as people are approached about intimacy, they often go on the defensive.

  3. Anonymous says:

    While I agree that there are never any guarantees in life about what one’s partner will choose, I do feel that there is an additional level of relationship security that comes about through marriage. While divorce is still certainly an option, it is a lot more difficult than simply packing your bags and leaving, and can force a couple to think about things a little more before calling it quits. For many there is an additional social stigma, which for some, could be a positive thing.

    • I used to feel the same way, but then my husband simply packed his bags and left.

      I do agree that for most people the additional ties of marriage encourage a pause prior to an exit. When this pause is used for constructive work on the relationship, it can definitely be a positive force. Ultimately, a relationship (married or not) requires that both partners are willing participants. If the framework of traditional matrimony encourages that for someone, then it can be a welcome addition.

  1. April 15, 2012

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  3. April 17, 2012

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