Trust Fund

I had the utmost trust in my ex-husband.  Even thought we were very young when we began dating, I did not give up my trust easily; he earned it over years of proving himself reliable, dependable, and honest.  Each time he followed through or stepped up, another deposit was made into the trust fund.  I was hyper-vigilant about the fund in its early stages, carefully monitoring each deposit and looking for unexpected withdrawals.  As time passed and the minimum account balance was ancient history, I began to relax.

And then, the unthinkable happened.  The trust fund was emptied fully in one violent sweep as I learned of his years of lies and deceptions.  It made me question the veracity of the sixteen years of deposits: were they forgeries?  Fraud?  Or, were they real enough and simply there for the taking?

I felt violated.  Raped.  Robbed.  I trusted him to protect me from others and it turns out I needed protection from him.

It was an inside job.

 

I was left without a husband, bit even more concerning, I was left with a damaged trust safe, its integrity damaged by the robbery.  It was no longer able to contain any deposits of trust.  And I was afraid that it could not be repaired.

I began to work to repair the damage, patch the holes.  I explored, finding and patching the weak areas.  I tested its integrity by tentatively placing trust in others, yet ensuring that, if they were to fail to follow through, I would not be too badly compromised.

Time passed.  The trust fund slipped from the forefront of my mind.  I suppose I began to trust that it could contain wealth again, if it were to come my way.

And wealth did come; I am now in a new relationship and the trust fund has been rebuilt.  It’s a little different now; the security is a little tighter and I am more aware of the deposits, but the fund is full and I am relaxed.

Thank you to my dad and his wife for inspiring this post.