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Divorce Envy

5 Responses

  1. You will find out that time changes people….trust me on this one.

  2. rascalfoxx says:

    Thanks for your posts. They help. IDK how you have the time to write them with all the things that you do.

    But I appreciate them. EVERY POST YOU PRODUCE HELPS PART OF ME HEAL. Most of the time I didn’t even know that I still had/have some pain in an area. And you help me heal. What can I say to you besides Thanks. IDK, I really don’t know. But I wish I had better words to express how deeply, fervently, and heartfelt I appreciate you for how you help me.

    Thanks Ms Lisa, thank you. I hope you can feel the intensity of my appreciation for you. And my respect. There is a Higher Power and I know that that Higher Power is very, very proud of you; and pleased with you. 😀
    Still The Rascal

  3. Rick says:

    It is difficult for me to imagine marriage as being other than complex and divorce without the sensation of a loss. Nothing more than a mere fb page & a tweet (or twit as the case may be-pun intended)

  4. Katie says:

    When my marriage ended, the man I’d been with for 10 years became an instant stranger. He was seeing someone else. Socked away money without my knowledge. Told me he didn’t want me in “his” (meaning “our”) house because he thought I was going to kill him in his sleep. (Sidenote: WTH?) A couple days later he went out of town to see “her” (a woman who worked for him and lived in another state) and I packed up all my belongings that I could fit in the tiniest Uhaul ever and left. I never spent another night under the same roof as him.

    We had maybe 3 conversations about our divorce (1:here are the papers, 2: would you PLEASE sign the darn papers, and 3: I need to get a check from you for my lawyer – shoulda read the divorce papers more clearly, not my problem anymore). He never once even uttered the word “divorce” to me. I let him keep his money, although could have sunk his ship financially, although he was sinking it just fine on his own. At the time I was just getting as far away from his toxicity as I could, and today I am grateful that I cut him out of my life with the precision that I did. I don’t allow people like him in my life anymore, what an important lesson and gift learned the hard way!

    As for couples who are “friendly” after their divorces, I was never comfortable with my parents’ relationship after their divorce. Looking back now almost 4 years post divorce I am grateful that we went our separate ways and there wasn’t anything lingering between us. A clean break, although incredibly painful at the time, has made me the stronger (and wiser) woman I am today and I wouldn’t trade that for a lunch date with my ex EVER!

    I can certainly appreciate the sentiment that you wish your divorce might have been less traumatic in many ways (oh boy Lisa, can I ever!), but I really think there is an advantage to cutting ties and moving on. Life is too short to be tied to an anchor! I think we are the lucky (changed) ones…My $.02

    • Thanks for your $.02:) Knowing what I know about my ex, I’m glad it was a total amputation. I don’t want him in my life in any way. I think it can be different though when the ex is a decent person and the two people just don’t work in a marriage. One of my readers described how she and her ex high fived as they left the courthouse and that they do great together as coparents. I think that’s pretty cool when it works.

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