It is not unusual to experience loneliness during and after a divorce. After all, you have not only lost your life partner, but often extended family and friends, as well. Adding to that, divorce can be isolating. It is all-consuming and others often tire of its dominance in your life. It seems a cruel joke; when we need others the most, we can easily find ourselves alone.
I realized how alone I was when I could go places without needing to leave a message of when I would be back. I would pick up the phone to share something I saw and realize that I had nobody to share it with. When I was sick, there was nobody to send to the store for Gatorade and Sudafed. The bed felt empty. My heart felt emptier.
I very intentionally surrounded myself with people. At first, this made me feel even more alone, as I felt like an interloper, a pariah with my pain. I played the part, acting as though I felt included, until I actually did. I realized that the feeling of isolation was my perspective, not reality, and I can change my perspective.