Pain is inescapable and inevitable, but it does not have to become a way of being. Recognize the pain, embrace it even, and see what it can teach you. Much as physical pain is often our body’s way of alerting us that something is wrong and needs addressing, emotional pain is the mind’s way of letting you know that there are shifts to be made. Your pain does not have to be your torturer; it can be your teacher.
Let Your Pain Be Your Teacher.
At first glance, the early spring garden is barren. There are few leaves, few flowers, no raucous plants fighting for attention. It is a different garden.
The beauty of an early spring garden is in the details, subtle interplay of color and texture, and the bright green of new growth tentatively poking its head though the soil. In order to see the beauty, the quiet spectacle that is the wakening garden, one must be patient and in tune with the rhythm of life.
The first frost of the fall that causes the leaves and blooms to wither and die, providing the fuel for the next season’s growth. When the garden in dormant to the naked eye, the most important work is going on beneath the surface, working the soil so that it can nurture and sustain life. 
Look to the ground to see the life just below the surface, shy at first. Testing. But soon, as the shoot begin to trust in the warmth of the sun again, they will burst forth, ready to declare their presence.
The early spring of a divorce is much the same as in a garden. Look beyond the bare branches, look to the details and you will see its beauty beneath the loss. The beauty in the possibilities, the promise, the unknown. Celebrate each new sign of life. Focus on the growth that is visible and that which lies just beneath the surface. Dig your hands deep into your soil and fill it full of enrichment. Till your sorrows under so that they provide fuel for your new growth. Allow yourself to trust in the sun again, feel its warmth.
The early spring is fleeting, but it cannot be rushed. No season is permanent. Life moves on when ready, but in the meantime, look to the details to see the beauty and let yourself bloom when ready.
Movement is a facilitator of the healing process. Whether you’re feeling “stuck,” anxious, angry, or down, there is movement that we help you.
Change Agent : Experience Life Magazine.
It’s always good to remember that we can control how we respond to situations. Take charge of your happiness!
One of the responses I frequently get to my story is, “What an idiot for getting caught.” He wasn’t an idiot, but he certainly underestimated me.
In my former life, I had a tendency to want to turn away from anything scary or ugly. My ex obviously knew this, and he exploited it towards the end of the marriage. I believe that he thought I would be so shocked and devastated by the “good-bye” text, that I would be paralyzed with fear. He thought wrong. Instead of hiding, instead of turning away, I was driven to find out what happened.
First, let me clarify. The text was abrupt. Sudden. The marriage that I knew, that he led me to see, was good. He refused to respond to any calls or texts after he left. He took all but one of the computers (mine), all of the financial documents, and strange things (like the discs that held the papers I wrote for grad school). The passwords on all of the accounts had been changed. It made no sense.
So, I immediately went into detective mode. By getting into the financial accounts, I learned of an affair and financial deceptions going back years. I also learned where he currently was staying (a few states over). It gave some answers. He emails gave the rest. Because of the way our accounts were linked, I was able to see the messages sent to his junk folder, which included those that were carbon copied.
It only took a few days for the first interesting email to come through. This one indicated plans for a visa for an upcoming trip to Uganda with the mistress. Interesting. Seemed like he was running.
The big shocker came three days after that. A message I had to read several times to grasp the meaning of. It initiated from a band in the town where he was staying. It seems they were looking for payment for a wedding they had recently performed at. His wedding.
Oops.
That started the chain that led to his arrest and bigamy charge.
Lesson 1: Don’t underestimate yourself; you are capable of more than you ever know.
Lesson 2: Don’t run away from your fears; they grow more powerful when ignored.
Lesson 3: If you’re going to get married illegally, be sure to pay the band.
Lessons From the End of a Marriage 