I Can’t, I Won’t, I Don’t and I’ll Never

  I really did have a great marriage.  In retrospect, though, I’ve realized that he never really challenged me.  I am not saying that as a dig against him, or claiming that the responsibility was his, it is just how it was.  I could easily say “I can’t, I won’t, I don’t or I’ll never” and he never questioned it.  It was comfortable.  I developed a rather static view of myself, content to be what I was in many areas.  I did push myself, but only in areas where I was comfortable pushing (which are never the areas that need improvement, are they?).  Even though this was a lesson I didn’t want to learn, I  learned the value in pushing oneself in the areas that cause discomfort.  It just might surprise you (as it did me) how many of those, “I wont’s” become “I can’t wait to’s.”

Here are some  of the items that were on my “can’t” list that are now on my “bring it on” list:

-riding a motorcycle (sorry, mom!)

-running a race (warning – these are addictive)

-eating spicy foods (I now have to restock chili powder and Tabasco every couple weeks)

-enjoying sports (don’t mention last week’s playoffs…)

-learning to play chess (I’m still pretty crummy, but it’s progress)

-kissing another man (strange at first, but not too hard to get used to)

-cooking (see “I’m Not Martha Stewart…”

-having a dog again (you’ll hear more about this one later)

-trusting again

-loving again

It is not the responsibility of those in our life to push and challenge us; it is something we must take on ourselves.  As a teacher, I am fully aware that growth occurs when I keep the students slightly uncomfortable, just a little beyond where they want to go.  Likewise, we can grow when we take ourselves beyond what we think we can do.  What can you transfer from your “I can’t, I won’t, I don’t, and I’ll never” list?  How can you challenge yourself?